Kadet - Identity Research

Ethnic/Racial/Cultural Identity

Overall, my family let me explore religion on my own. I consider myself Jewish, but my family and I are liberal Jews. We do not keep kosher or consider ourselves orthodox. Most Jews came from Russia and it is common to be a Russian Jew. My mom works at a Jewish preschool, so she is the most involved in the community. My mom is the most religious person in our family. My dad had a Bar Mitzvah when he was younger, and I believe my mom had a Bat Mitzvah too. My parents asked me if I wanted to have a Bar Mitzvah, and I kindly declined. My non-Jewish friends condemn me for my decision to “not receive money and gifts and have a huge party.” I actually work for a Bar and Bat Mitzvah company, so ironically I’ve been to probably close to 100 Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, but haven’t had my own. Most of the people in my lineage were raised as traditional Jewish.

We recently found out that we are part Italian as well. My mom’s mom was adopted and did not know her birth parents at all. She applied to see her real birth certificate about a year ago, and Illinois recently released the rights to attain them. My Nana, as I like to call her, found out on her birth certificate that she is a twin! Imagine being in your 70’s and finding out that you were born a twin. After some further research, my Nana found out that she is also 100% Italian. That means that my mom is 50% Italian, and me and my sister are 25% Italian as well. That probably explains our dark features. Some people thought that my mom and sister were actually Mexican. In our family we call the darker complexion Kadets, “the blackies” and the lighter ones “the whities”. My dad and sister make up “the blackies” and my mom and I make up “the whities”.

Although still being liberal, we do celebrate in all of the major Jewish holidays. We celebrate Rosh Hashanah, which is considered the Jewish New Year. It lasts only a couple of days and always happens between Columbus and Labor Day. Rosh Hashanah is a time to make resolutions for the upcoming year. Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement, is when most Jews go to synagogue and fast in order to reconcile their mistakes. Yom Kippur usually occurs on the ninth day of Rosh Hashanah. Instead of fasting, my family usually goes to dinner instead. My mom and I have agreed that we become shaky when we don’t eat for a while. In my Judaism class ironically, I didn’t eat breakfast and my stomach was growling so loud that a random classmate of mine offered me her animal crackers. Like most stereotypical Jewish families, we love food. Additionally, it is a time to repent for your sins and ask God to write you in the book of life for the upcoming year. On the eve of Rosh Hashanah, what some Jews do is partake in tashlikh, which means “casting off” in Hebrew. Tashlikh is where you throw stones or something into the river to get rid of your sins from the previous year and think about everyone you may have wronged. My family and I went to the river in Skokie, a primarily Jewish area, and threw little crackers in. Along with the crowds of many other Jews, I took it very seriously, contrary to being a liberal Jew. It was a good time to reflect on the past year and be with my family. Hanukkah or Chanukkah is my personal favorite Jewish holiday. Many of my non-Jewish friends are jealous that I “get gifts for eight nights instead of just one”. Hanukkah is the festival of lights that celebrates defeating the Greeks. As the story is told, the Jews needed to light the temple’s menorah, but they only had enough oil to keep it lit for one day. Miraculously, the oil kept the candle lit for eight days and that is why we light menorahs for Hanukkah. Hanukkah happens between Thanksgiving and Christmas. There are other Jewish holidays, but we only really celebrate Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Hanukkah.

I do not think anyone in my family has been harassed for their ethnic identities, but I know that my parents told me to be careful because there are still people out there who have hateful ideals. The Holocaust still impacts a lot of Jews today. It was an awful and horribly tragic event where millions of Jews and other minorities were slaughtered. It is estimated that about 2/3 of Jews were wiped out from the Holocaust. I just think, what if one of them could have cured cancer? It was an attempt to wipe out a generation, but it was obviously unsuccessful.

The only other “culture” I would possibly identify with is with the gay community. I am very proud of my orientation and cherish all of my experiences around the fact that I am gay. The biggest thing regarding that is I have not changed the way I acted. When I told my dad I was gay he responded “I know”. This is when I can appreciate being a more liberal household cause the majority of people who come out do not have such great luck. I never want it to be the first thing people identify me with, but it is a big part of my identity. Many of my friends are gay too. I have friends from all different cultures and backgrounds. I find it so fascinating that everyone has different upbringings and that fact affects how they act, how they behave, and how they think. I think as a whole, we can learn a lot by associating with others. Personally, I feel like the world would be too boring if we were all the same.

A situation of tension may be Sipora’s story of being a Holocaust survivor. My mom’s best friend’s mother is a Holocaust survivor. She spoke at the Holocaust Museum is Skokie (where I’m from) and her story is truly incredible. She suffered through so much. Hitler and the Nazis treated Jews like they were rats. It was absolutely disgusting. Hitler would kill Jews in numerous ways such as: mass shootings, overworking, overcrowding, unsanitary conditions, starvation and gassing. Some of the ways he lured the Jews to their deaths were by allowing them to “shower” in the concentration camps and then poison gas would come out instead of water. Other times, he would force them into ovens where their bodies would burn until disintegrated. He would not feed them for days and forced them to sleep on hard wood frames with multiple people inside them. Many Jews died due to diseases gained from the unbearable conditions. Some pictures revealed that the Jews literally looked like skeletons because of the lack of nutrition and care. The Holocaust was counterproductive because one of those millions of people could have cured cancer or done something else to largely advance society.